How to Make Your Marriage Last Forever

 

A Marriage That Lasts Forever

In honor of my own marriage that we have committed to last forever, I share some notes I have found along the way. They have worked well for these thirty years. I expect them to continue keeping us Lovestruck.

Lovestruck! Yes, that would be a good description of my husband and I. Definitely, Michael was lovestruck from the first day we met. That Sunday in August 30 years ago began as normal as any day could. My pastor’s wife, Charlotte, drug me to Georgia to retrieve her daughter who had spent the summer with her grandmother.

However, Charlotte had ulterior motives – to introduce me to some preacher. (As a side note – I did not intend to marry a preacher.) I went along just to make Charlotte hush about this “Michael” whom she thought I needed to meet.

Michael, on the other hand, had no clue at all that he was being set up. I was just a friend of Charlotte and I would be singing at church that morning. Boy, was he in for a surprise.

Twitter-painted!

Yep! Just like Bambi, he was “looking neither to the right nor the left” when “Boom!”, he came face to face with me. That’s how it started.

Many Waters

But marriage is more than that mushy feeling you get when you are dating. Marriage is a covenant “to have and to hold… from this day forth… ’til death do us part.”

You do remember those words you recited at the altar ‘x’ years ago? Right?

Those emotions and all the chemical reactions going on make for a great start but the covenant seals the deal.

“Marriage is about a covenant with the God who intertwines two souls with the thread of his presence.”

— Sharon Jaynes

The Covenant – Forever Words

Have you read those promises recently? Let’s remind ourselves of the words and promises we made. It probably went something like this…

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.

www.weddingwire.com
2 Imperfect People

God’s plan for marriage is that it will last forever. We can look around and easily see what happens when marriage vows are broken. It leaves not only broken hearts but pure disaster in its wake. Mark 10:9 says that marriage is forever. I believe that God created marriage to show the world an example of His love for us. So we need to enter into those vows with that purpose in mind. Divorce should never be an option. No easy outs here. It takes work and the work we must do.

The “Work” of Marriage

First, Love is not always easy. Love means giving in to the other’s will and giving up what we want to please the other… even when they aren’t returning that kind of love. What if we did that? I’ve shared before from Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

Sacred Marriage reveals how marriage trains us to love God and others well, how it exposes sin and makes us more aware of God’s presence, how good marriages foster good prayer, how married sex feeds the spiritual life, and more.

Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More that to Make us Happy?

Oh goodness, marriage exposes sin? You better believe it does. You see, when we are dating we always have our best foot forward, right? But once the wedding bells have chimed, we slack off and those fairy tale ideas are found to not be so true. Our own desires come floating to the top and the next thing you know we are fighting, screaming, yelling because we want our own way. {sin of selfishness}

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I am not being paid to write this or being told what to say.


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Marriage Fosters Good Prayer

Additionally, there is likely nothing better for a marriage than prayer. In the past, we often heard this adage… “A Family that PRAYS together STAYS together.” It’s still true is you implement it. Prayer brings you together. Praying together helps you hear what the other one desires, it helps us bring those desires together as we search for God’s Will and agree together to live it.

We also should be separately praying for our spouse. I have been using Sharon Jaynes’ book, Praying for Your Husband From Head to Toe since it was released in 2014. (I’ve also purchased it for nearly every bride I have known since then.) Sharon admonishes us…

As a wife, you have the power to open the floodgates of heaven through prayer on your husband’s behalf. Whether your husband hasn’t yet decided to follow Christ, has a lukewarm fledgling faith, or lives a fiery firm faith, there is no one more qualified to pray for his relationship with Christ than you.

Sharon Jaynes, Praying For your Husband From Head To Toe, page 6

The Importance of Intimacy

significance of sex

Ultimately, intimacy is highly important. It must be treasured and enjoyed always.

Songs of Solomon is an Old Testament book that we tend to gloss over. But there it is right in the middle of the Bible. So I’m thinking. God put it there for us to find instruction. It’s a love story of a King (Solomon) and his bride. It gets a little juicy but it also deals with handling health issues and those “little tiffs” we can get into.

Sharon Jaynes’ newest book, Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, & Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon offers much hope for our marriage. Sharon talks frankly to us about encouraging one another, Speaking life into each other, withholding intimacy, becoming indifferent, extending forgiveness and grace, fulfilling one another’s desires, becoming best friends, and so much more.

The Short List For a Forever Marriage

  1. A Commitment to Forever
  2. Love That Lasts Forever
  3. Prayers That Have Forever in Mind
  4. Lifelong Intimacy
  5. Working Together Forever
  6. Uplifting Words Toward and About Each Other
  7. Most Importantly, God is in the Center

This list is only the first few foundational and necessary actions we must take to have a forever marriage. As I have said before, it takes work and lots of it. it takes commitment to stay the course to forever. I pray that you are committed to the plan just as I am.

Let’s Do This!

If you desire to ignite your marriage, check out any of Sharon Jaynes’ books on marriage. I especially encourage you to pre-order your copy of Lovestruck before the Release date (Tuesday, August 6th). You will receive a free downloadable study guide and more. Just follow instructions at www.lovestruckbook.com

I’m praying you will find new ways to spice up your marriage.

It takes intentionality and ingenuity to make lifelong intimacy a reality. #lovestruckbook @sharonjaynes Click To Tweet
Mandy Farmer

How many years have you been married? Share in the comments.




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8 thoughts on “How to Make Your Marriage Last Forever

  1. BettieG says:

    We are heading for our 41st Anniversary in September. More and more every year I know it’s God’s grace that has held us together. Our marriage covenant keeps pointing me to find new depths in the covenant love that God has poured out on each of us. Blessings to you and your husband Mandy!

  2. Karen Friday says:

    Great post on marriage, Mandy! I not only love to speak and write about marriage, but I also desire to keep learning how to make marriage last forever…even after 34 years. And by the way, I’m a pastor’s wife too!

    • Mandy Farmer says:

      Awesome! It’s always fun to connect with other pastor’s wives. I’m thinking that one of the best things we can encourage our flock with is to nurture their marriage. There’s nothing Satan likes more than tearing families apart.

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