When You Don’t Get What You Expect

not expected

Originally posted in ggmandy dot com on 6-19-2017

This week’s Five Minute Friday   prompt is: EXPECT

I’m setting my timer for five minutes, and … GO.

Have you ever tried to say something nice and it came out different than you expect?

I have lost count of the times I have done it. I call it, “Foot-in-Mouth” disease. Yep! Open mouth, insert foot.

Sometimes, I do it in my writing too,

No matter how many times I have read and re-read my post, I seem to find out too late that my words have hurt someone. There have been times when I didn’t even realize it until someone was raking me over the coals.

I’m kind of a people pleaser, so my heart just cries when I am attacked. Many times, at the moment, I don’t even know why.

So what’s a girl to do?

In writing, maybe I need to wait longer until I actually post. Or possibly, I need to have someone read my work before I present it to the whole world. However, today I’d like to take a moment and share how I try to handle the attacks when they come.

STOP –  {OK Keep Going}

The timing of that “STOP” was perfect because that’s the first thing to do when we get what we don’t expect. STOP before we open our mouths or write the first word. STOP and consider a few things.

  1. Consider the idea that God is trying to teach you something. This morning I read a devotion from Aletha Hinthorn, she shared that in one instance God was teaching her about her own attitude.
  2. Consider if there is validity in what they are saying. Could you have said things differently or not at all?
  3. Consider if your hurt is really entitlement in disguise. Today, everyone seems to think they have the right to have everything go their way. Are we only worried about ourselves? Can we say with the apostle Paul, “I have learned to be content in the state that I am in”? Philippians 4:10
  4. Consider what the other person may be going through. Maybe they have a hurt that is causing them to lash out. Can you see the hurt and respond in a way that provides a balm for their pain?

Well, there you go. Just a few thoughts to ponder when you get what you don’t expect.


Mandy Farmer


Bullying: Sticks And Stones Crush our Hearts

Book Review: Wounded By God’s People

Wounded by the Church by Anne Graham Lotz

About Mandy Farmer

Pastor's Wife (retired) &  Chronic Pain Warrior blogs about how to make it through anything by relating her own life experiences to her writing. She is passionate about her love for the Lord and desires to spread that passion to others. She has a great desire to encourage women who are following behind her.

View all posts by Mandy Farmer

6 Comments on “When You Don’t Get What You Expect”

  1. Hi there, I’m your FMF neighbor this week. Ouch! I don’t think I would handle the sting of a negative comment very gracefully (or without tears). Thank you for sharing. It’s always hard, but helpful, to think of the other side.

  2. It’s ok to shed tears, but hard to we look at all sides of the issues. You know, walk a mile in their moccasins. 🙂 thanks for dropping by.

  3. Oh, these are very good thoughts! Most of all, to “stop” and consider where those words are coming from, and to ask the Lord to help you see things from their perspective is such a wise way to handle those “unexpected” words. Thanks for sharing!

  4. LOVE. My late husband always used to tell me to sit on whatever I write or want to say for 24 hours and then if I still want to say it go ahead. He knew me well and that I would probably find a better way to word whatever it was I wanted to say. Even with that, though, it has been hard sometimes.

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