Psalm of Mandy: a Pain Warrior’s Prayer

But as for me, Lord,
my prayer to you is for a time of favor. Psalm 69:13 CSB

This is a paraphrase from Psalm 69. David had many times in his life when he felt he was drowning in troubles. People who suffer from chronic pain can often feel they are drowning in pain and sorrow. When I read this psalm of David I can feel my own soul praying this prayer with just a few changed words. As you read it, you may understand some of the things that chronic illness causes in our lives. My words are in [ ]. Highlighted words link to another post I have written concerning the issue.

Mandy’s Psalm

¹ Save me, O Lord, I am drowning!
² I have sunk in deep mud, and there is no footing;
I have come into deep water, and a flood sweeps over me.
³ I am weary from my crying; my throat is parched.
My eyes fail, looking for my God. [I wonder if the pain will ever stop.]

I Feel Hated and Forgotten

⁴ Those who hate me without cause are more numerous than the hairs of my head; [glares at the store because I am using a handicap space or a motorized cart burn into my very soul.]
These [non-understanding] enemies, who would destroy me, are powerful.
Though I did not steal [nothing wrong], I must repay.

I Feel Judged

⁵ God, you know my foolishness, and my guilty acts are not hidden from you.
⁶ Do not let those who put their hope in you be disgraced because of me,
Lord God of Armies; do not let those who seek you be humiliated because of me,
God of Israel. [I’m supposed to be a light for You, but instead, I complain about pain.]
⁷ For I have endured insults because of you, and shame has covered my face.
⁸ [I feel] I have become a stranger to my brothers and a foreigner to my mother’s sons
9 [because no one calls or checks on me.] The insults of those who insult you
have fallen on me. [they don’t understand that I am unable to sit on hard chairs or pews and attend a church service or Sunday School.]
¹⁰ I mourned and fasted, but it brought me insults. [Their eyes say, “Where is your faith now?]
¹¹ I wore sackcloth as my clothing [my pajamas all day because clothes hurt my skin], and I was a joke to them.
¹² Those who sit at the city gate talk about me, and drunkards [others] make up songs [stories] about me, talking behind my back.

But As For Me

But as for me, Lord,
my prayer to you is for a time of favor.
In your abundant, faithful love, God,
answer me with your sure salvation.

I pray for a Time of Favor, Lord

¹⁴ Rescue me from the miry mud; don’t let me sink.
Let me be rescued from those who hate me [pain and agony]
and from the deep waters [of pain that does not go away].
¹⁵ Don’t let the floodwaters sweep over me
or the deep swallow me up;
don’t let the Pit close its mouth over me.

-Mandy

to be continued…

Follow my Journey with Chronic Pain

Mandy Farmer

Pastor’s Wife (retired) &  Chronic Pain Warrior blogs about how to make it through anything by relating her own life experiences to her writing. She is passionate about her love for the Lord and desires to spread that passion to others. She has a great desire to encourage women who are following behind her.

www.mandyandmichele.com