How Can You Help Someone With Chronic Pain?

how to help

Originally posted in ggmandy dot com in 2017 but still valid today.

And again November 22, 2018

How Can I Help

Dear Friend,

#helpthesick #chronicillness #cancer

The other day, when you heard about my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, you said to let you know if there was any way you could help. I thought I might write to let you know how you can help. I know that you mean well; but, this kind of offer puts me in a quandary.

You see, I am not really sure how to answer that. There might be something that I know you would do and I would ask you but there are so many needs and I really feel like I am imposing to ask for your help. Unless you are a really, really good friend, I probably will never call on you for help even though I know your offer is sincere.

Ways to help the Chronically Sick #thisisfibro #chronicpainawareness Share on X

Put some thought into it

#howcanIhelp #freeprintable

It’s like at Christmas or my birthday, I would really rather you listen to my conversations and watch my life and see where the needs are. Then make a specific offer, such as, calling up and saying, “Hey, I’m at the store can I pick anything up for you?” Or maybe offer to give me a ride to the store with you. Or if you know I have a doctor’s appointment or therapy session, offer to give me a ride.

Offer to take me to my appointments. #howtohelpthesick #chronicpainawareness Share on X

I Get So Lonely

These things are so helpful. Plus they give us some time to visit. This is really nice because one of the biggest issues I have is that I get so very lonely. I seldom get out of the house except to go to the doctor. I don’t get to go to my regular activities anymore and few or none of my friends drop by for a visit.

Hey, you know what would be really nice is if you would just choose a specific day of the week that you would come by. It might be just to visit or to bring food or watch a movie. I would be looking forward to that every week. (Kinda like that movie Tuesdays with Morrie.)

Please come visit me once in a while. #howtohelp #chronicillness Share on X

There Are So Many Ways to Help

#freeprintable #waystohelp #fibro #chroniillness #cancer

Finally, there are many, many things that you can do to help. A friend of mine gave me this list. It’s really a good list of ideas of ways someone can help the chronically ill. Maybe it will be helpful for you, so I’m going to make it available as a free download.

Thanks for loving and caring about me. It means so much to me.

See you on Tuesday!  😉

Mandy Signature
Savannah, GA

Here’s the list to the downloadable page – Just Click Below

Download letter

CLICK HERE FOR PRINTABLE >>>>>>> Ways You Can Help the Chronically Sick.

Free Download List of Ways to Help #howtohelpthesick #chronicillness #cancer Share on X

Here’s a great book about helping a friend.

About Mandy Farmer

Pastor's Wife (retired) &  Chronic Pain Warrior blogs about how to make it through anything by relating her own life experiences to her writing. She is passionate about her love for the Lord and desires to spread that passion to others. She has a great desire to encourage women who are following behind her.

View all posts by Mandy Farmer

8 Comments on “How Can You Help Someone With Chronic Pain?”

  1. I agree. Sometimes we feel pretty helpless in regards to someone being ill. I think often times we are oblivious to the fact that a caregiver has any needs at all. I know when we were first going through this journey our eyes were opened to how we weren’t really doing enough for the caregivers. Thanks for coming by.

  2. Very well said. If someone asked me the question of how they can help, I don’t know what I’d say. There isn’t anything specific. It’s more like a general way of being, like having someone that’s considerate, can just be there, will be non-judgemental, that kind of thing. I totally agree with your point about putting some thought into it. I feel like I do this for others and I love doing it, putting myself in someone else’s shoes to think what they might like or how they might feel; it would be nice to have someone have me in mind one time. I feel the same with presents; I’d rather have thought into it rather than to be asked for a suggestion, which I won’t give. It’s not about the ‘thing’ itself, which really doesn’t matter all that much at all, it’s about the thought. If that makes any sense. Great post.

    Caz xx

  3. I agree totally. I have tried to teach this to my children (about gift-giving) Sometimes I think they got it… other times not so much. haha!
    Sadly, The art of thoughtfulness seems to be a lost art.

  4. Good thoughts, and your words speak for so many that don’t want to impose but truly do need specific help. A specific offer to help is so much easier to respond to than a blanket, how can I help. I try to be more specific when offering help and I like how you put it, pay attention to my conversations. You can address specific needs if you listen to and know a person well.

  5. The pain, it is not chronic,
    though that would sure be great
    and something of a tonic,
    but this is not my fate.
    Cancer’s got me by the throat
    and grabbed me by the ass,
    and it gets the ranking vote
    in every dunny pass.
    But I’ll bash on regardless
    of what it says to me;
    I’m not in Satan’s harness,
    and I’ll see victory
    in arrival, scarred, unbowed,
    welcomed home by Heaven’s crowd.

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