Surrendered Life. Seriously?
“I want my life back.” I didn’t want to surrender my life. Not this way.
Chronic pain steals your life. It takes your health, your daily life, your family time, your hobbies, your social life, and your ministries. And sometimes it takes your job and even your home. Who could blame a gal for saying she wants her life back?
Honestly, I felt I was right in the center of God’s will when my whole world stopped. I was nearly finished raising my family. Our youngest was 15. As a home-schooling mom, I had established a homeschool co-op that had grown from 3 to 50 families. I had 25 years of children’s ministry under my belt, and my husband was the senior pastor at our church. Though we found ourselves overly busy, too tired, and looking for a way to retire and slow down, we had “the life.”
But then, my life was interrupted. [see Life’s Interruptions Are Just a Change in Direction]
Consider a Parable of Jesus
As I write, I’m reminded of the parable in Luke 12 of the wealthy farmer who said, “I will build more barns. Then I will sit back and relax.” There are just too many “I will, I did” phrases in the above paragraph; it rubs my heart and soul the wrong way. This wealthy farmer did not have a surrendered life. He was living for himself.
This sticks in me because you see, my life is not my own.
It belongs to God to do with as He pleases.
I wonder now, how much was I really depending on God in those “good” times? After losing everything, we learned we hadn’t really been trusting God until we had nothing to lean on BUT HIM.
Surrendered Through Suffering
Through my suffering, I am learning to surrender my life to God, too.
Jesus said, “If anyone wants to follow after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me and the gospel will save it. For what does it benefit someone to gain the whole world and yet lose his life? What can anyone give in exchange for his life?” (Mark 8:34-37)
As I learn to manage chronic pain, I have found living for Him is far better than anything I’ve ever had here on earth.
Reflect on Your Life
I thank Him for 50 years of healthy life.
Time to love and raise four beautiful children.
Joy in ministry beyond what I had hoped.
Even in my suffering, He has drawn me to Himself like never before. I “didn’t have time” to cling to Him then. But now… I have all the time in the world. I spend hours every day studying His Word and getting to know Him more.
In all honesty, I don’t want my previous life back. This surrendered life is abundantly better.
Surrendered to Him;
Excerpted from Gracefully Truthful
This is a portion of the devotion I wrote for Gracefully Truthful Online Bible Studies. Click the link to read the complete study. Thanks. Surrender Day 9 Image Unfiltered: Digging Deeper – Gracefully Truthful
Pastor’s Wife (retired) & Chronic Pain Warrior blogs about how to make it through anything by relating her own life experiences to her writing. She is passionate about her love for the Lord and desires to spread that passion to others. She has a great desire to encourage women who are following behind her.