CCP Virus: Emotionally draining and My Last Nerve

It was getting late. The emotionally draining task of packing up my mother’s belongings was starting to eat away at my general good nature and sense of humor.

As much as I wanted to keep everything, I knew I was limited by space and reality. These are “things”, not the person. Somewhat angry and very sad I said “I quit, I can’t do this anymore.” I finished throwing recipe books into a box, folded the top shut, and shoved it to the door.

Packing it up

The next day brought no further relief either. It was the “last day” before I was to leave and go back to Minnesota. I began to pile up what I wanted to be packed in the U-Haul and then glanced at my watch. It was 9 am and I had an appointment to see my mom in the dementia unit at 9:30 am. I had better get going or I was going to be late.

My sister graciously drove me to the dementia unit as my only vehicle was hooked up to the U-Haul. Brad would stay and pack while I went to visit mom. This was my last visit as I most likely won’t make it back to Wisconsin till spring.

The CCP virus and company

The CCP virus (Chinese Communist Party) has wreaked havoc across the globe. Governer’s tyrannically ruling. Wear a mask but then again don’t wear a mask. Anarchist rioters destroying cities and towns, media disinformation, deep state government being exposed. All this is ripe for a social meltdown, let alone a personal one.

Now, adding to the above list, was the issue of only being able to visit my mother outdoors. My mom doesn’t like to be outside. It’s either too cold, too hot, or too windy. Ugh! You can’t reason very well with a dementia patient.

Jumping through hoops

Image by B Ban from Pixabay

Upon our arrival, my brother and nephew joined our visiting group and we lined up at the front door and rang the bell. Someone finally came to the door and asked what we wanted. I said we had made an appointment to see our mother at 9:30 am.

Annoyed, the nurse said there was no person who was scheduled to visit anyone that day. VERY ANNOYED, I tersely replied I had made two appointments yesterday. One was for that same day and the other was for today, and then named the visit coordinator.

I really wanted to ask if my mother was a hostage of this facility. Then I wanted to ask if they were invested in her positive mental health! I could feel my frustration build, as well as the last two days of packing up emotions starting to drip from my eyes. But I “kept still” as she said she would go check the schedule again.

The nurse returned with a different tone. She had found there indeed was an appointment made to see my mother. I internally said, “HA!” but my inward sass was about to be challenged. However, we could not all see her on the same visit. Some of us would have to stand outside the patio and see her from afar. That my friend was the final straw.

One mad Dutch girl

Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

Angrily I asked why we were allowed to visit as a group just two days ago and now there seems to be a problem with it? Furthermore, I went on to say that the facility needed to have one cohesive policy, not individual personal policies that vacillated with each “changing of the guard”. To that, she said that whatever happens over on that wing is for those nurses to decide. And then she handed me the two sheets of paperwork with questions that needed dated signatures and my temperature taken.

Taking the papers I ran the pen down the “no column”, signed that sheet. Then grabbed the next sheet and signed that. I got in line to be scanned. She quickly scanned my forehead- “98°F”- I wrote it down, she handed me my bracelet, I handed her the papers and I was out the door.

I figured I needed to calm down. This whole CCP virus stuff has everyone on edge, especially with the amount of disinformation that has been spread about. The added anxiety of her no longer living in her home and being cared for by strange people was still very upsetting. I readjusted my mask and began the hike to the backside of the facility.

A pleasant visit

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

My siblings had finally caught up with me and a conversation concerning how we would all visit her ensued. By the time we reached the back of the facility, I had calmed down. We waited outside the patio gate like paparazzi.

I scanned the ground for the butter knife they use to unlock the fence. My sister spied it first and picked it up. Sliding the knife past the latchbolt, she was able to hold it back long enough to swing the door open. Tada! We are in.

Finding chairs we all sat together in a circle. My mother appeared but then told the nurse she needed to go to the bathroom. So, back into the facility to use the bathroom. We asked the nurse to change her coat to her winter coat, a hat, and gloves- she hates to be cold.

Finally, she returned and sat down to talk with us. She was grateful to see everyone. As she talked with the others I attended to her nails. It was good to hold her hand and listen to her talk.

Saying goodbye

Image by Stefania Poli from Pixabay

Saying goodbye is always hard. I can’t seem to do it without tears. But the time had come, my mom was tired and getting cold. It had been very cold that morning, 45°F. We all dressed for the outdoor visit.

Hugging my mom I told her that I loved her and would see her as soon as I could. She patted my back and gave me a kiss. The rest said their goodbyes and we called the nurse to come to retrieve mom from the patio.

It’s hard for her to understand why we can’t come in to visit her in her apartment. She asks if she has done something wrong and we try and explain the “sickness” and they don’t want it to spread as older folks have a harder time fighting it off. Bewildered all she says is “Oh.” This is frustrating for everyone and emotionally draining. We love our family. We need hugs and hand-holding.

Till next time friends, here is to our economy reopened and face to face visits with family.

Come by for a visit

Dropping By For A Visit

Don’t you miss the days when people would visit and sit for a spell?

family reunion
cousin, aunt,sousin, me, my husband, my daughter
2014 Dawson (my) family reunion

I do. I think that is why I want a front porch so badly. I miss the days of sitting on the porch with friends and family just resting and sharing time together.

These days we never drop in on people and thus our lives remain lonely and we never learn from one another. No one is a close friend anymore. We are all just acquaintances.

Remember When?

Even our families no longer stop by for a visit. I remember going for a drive and stopping in on my mom’s aunt and uncle. I don’t know how she did it. But my Aunt Mary must have had a 6th sense that someone was coming by because it seemed about 5-10 minutes after we arrived, she presented a delicious cake. Besides the delicious cake and good conversation, we gained the chance to actually know our cousins. If we had not stopped in occasionally, I would never have known my mother’s cousins, nor my second cousins.

I remember that our family friends would take turns having everyone over after the football games. These were all high school friends of my parents. Of course, they all had kids the same age as my siblings and me. Boy, did we have a grand time together?

As an adult, many of us would head out to a restaurant after Sunday Evening Worship. We seldom to that either.

We Are Too Busy

The truth is, we have become so busy that we never slow down long enough to just visit with anyone. The Bible instructs us to practice hospitality. The Book of Hebrews suggests that we should not forsake meeting together.  This scripture is usually used to encourage church attendance, but the early church met together in homes also sharing meals and encouraging one another. This is where we really get to know one another and share in each other’s lives. We can attend church, come in and go out, without truly interacting with people. But meeting in our homes and eating together, that is when we become more than acquaintances.

Here’s the Challenge

So, have you had a visitor or drop by on someone unexpectantly? When did you last invite someone into your home? We may need to make a concerted effort to fellowship together.

Meeting Around the Table

A few years ago, a new Women’s conference erupted into the scene called IF Gathering. They have developed the idea that encouragement comes from around the table. They encourage us to have a once a month meeting around the table. Invite 5 or 6 people to share a simple meal and have a real conversation.

They feel that this is so important that they provide menu ideas and questions to ask each other. It’s called IF: Table. You can Check it out here.

Table games are an excellent way to increase comradery. Try this awesome game with some friends called Life Stories. You will have a great time learning new things about one another.

You can learn more about mentoring around the table with this book written by a friend. Coming Alongside: Blessed to be a Blessing

I’m ready for a visit. Come on by! I’ll make a pound cake.

Mandy Farmer

I participating in Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Fridays where we take a prompt and write for five minutes.

Come by for a visit and sit a spell. #mentoring #visit Click To Tweet