Adventures in Potty Training: Part 1

Adventures in Potty Training. Okay, nobody likes to talk about poop and pee. But raising children entails many a discussion that includes those two topics. As I travel along in raising my son, my adventures in potty training have been very interesting. Being a type A person, I certainly (and I am laughing here) had my plan and clear direction on how this would work. Clearly, I was mistaken.

It’s my potty and I’ll cry if I want to

This is our second child. Our first child was a girl and now we have a boy. Two very different sexes and two extraordinary results.

Our daughter was rather stubborn in getting on with potty training. I remember it distinctly. It was January and 4k was to start in August. She was not potty trained and had zero interest in being a big girl using a potty chair. I had made several attempts with disappointing results.

What is the problem? Unfortunately, my daughter didn’t like to poop. She would hold it in for days. Her record withholding was 12 days. Ugh! How did we get here?

We got to this point because of constipation, which then led to painful elimination and then a fear. She knew it hurt, so she would hold it in even more.

The tell-tale signs were a swollen belly, white face with reddish purple under eye coloring. She would also refuse to eat. Once we got to refusing to eat, I knew we were in trouble. You’d be crabby too if you hadn’t pooped for 4 days.

911

I tried a whole assortment of items. Stool softener, Mira-Lax®, fibrous foods, prune juice… the list went on. We even went to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The wisdom shared from that appointment was we should use mineral oil. Mineral oil will lubricate the intestines and allow for a smooth exit of waste. We were to give her 5 ml, in juice. But she would take it from the syringe and swallow.

At first, this method worked. And when I say worked, I mean we no longer had constipation; we had very oily poop and it would “leak” out. This leakage caused us to have to use a panty liner, so she wasn’t soiling herself before she could reach the bathroom. She wouldn’t want to cough or she would have an accident.

Unfortunately, after using this method for two months, we discovered she became anemic and had to stop treating with mineral oil.

The mineral oil caused the anemia, by coating the intestines; blocking the ability to absorb vitamins and minerals necessary for her body. Ugh, again.

Psychological warfare

This ‘war’ had not only become physically painful for her, but it became psychological as well. It drove a wedge between us and she grew defiant. This was quickly becoming a colossal mess. How was I going to solve the problem?

Looking back now, I can see I placed a lot of guilt on myself and demands that I had to be the one to fix it. It’s a group effort, and I screwed up a lot. This wasn’t her fault, either.

Stay tuned for Adventures in Potty Training: Part Two. How we survived and 20 years later I’m back to the same battle but with a different approach. Grace for the moment and for the journey.