Fix our eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.– Hebrews 12:2
Peter was sailing and in the middle of this storm he sees Jesus out on the water. He gets excited, The Lord of Life is coming! And he jumps out of the boat and onto the water and starts running toward The Truth. Then, his run slows and stops. His eyes lose sight of The Way and he sees the turmoil of dark storms behind Jesus. He looks to his sides and the waves are giants at war around him. As he looks back to the boat. He begins to sink.
I can’t blame Peter for this. I do the same so many times. But I have been made alive by the grace of God. I have in the past 11 years been to the ER more than 30 times, have had 5 surgeries, hospitalized 9 times, lost jobs, had several cars, I have migraines, neuralgia in my ribs as well as my leg, have wires with a battery in my ribs to help me breathe, and have lost a baby due to a miscarriage 8 years ago. It is hard when life is so unpredictable and we just do not know what is going to happen next in the middle of all that is happening.
Recently, my hearing loss was noted by my doctor and the specialist, the ENT. Last month I found that my hearing has drastically dropped in my right ear alone. I needed a hearing aid. Like, oh great, another thing has broken in this body. Just as I was finding my resolve in Christ, who alone keeps this mortal instrument held together by his love and grace for some reason, I get a call from the ENT.
‘Jon, I am worried about your hearing loss and the pain you have been experiencing on your right side of your head.’
(Nice, right, I already deal with major migraines that plague my left side. Now, my right side.)
He continued, ‘I would like you to have a CAT scan done to check for a tumor.’
I’m like well, ‘okay’.
A few days after this I get a call to schedule this CAT scan… about four weeks away. Nothing sooner available. Uuugh. Not knowing kinda sucks. My mind races through ‘what ifs’.
Stressors Tug at my Confidence
Consequently, everything around me: all the stressors of my five children being homeschooled, my masters classes, and yet more car problems start turning my little world darker. The blankets that I sleep under become so tossed and turned at night that it looks as if I slept in a tornado.
Oh, wait! I know the Truth!
Yeah, it slips my mind at times and I have to remind myself that come whatever the doctors say God is my God who loves me.
Come whatever scenario that washes over my mind, God has got me.
Come whatever breaks down in this body. God holds me together.
Come what may God has my wife and children and me.
What is Confidence?
Let’s consider it. Confidence is a kinda funny word. It comes from Latin, meaning ‘have full trust.‘
In giving trust I ponder who it is I am focusing on.
Is it myself?
Am I one of those people who walk through the world with my chest full of air and carrying oneself with trust in one’s temporary place in this world?
Or do I fix my eyes on God, the author of me?
In all of this, I have learned confidence in looking beyond the veil of ice-piercing pain, beyond the thunder cracking its whips in my ears, and I see Jesus. Even when the waters under my feet are pulling me down, I know Jesus and I find myself fixed in determination beyond the condemnations of this world and broken body to trust in the one who gives me real life.
Who do you trust in your storms?
P.S. How do you find confidence. Come write about scripture that gives you confidence today. Contact me or click to learn more about guest posting for us at Mandy and Michele – Just Holding it Together.
Legacy Link-Up It’s Your Turn
Jonathan Thorn is 39 years old in this world and 24 years into eternity. My life in Christ has been the greatest adventure I have ever known. It envelopes me deeper in His love as trials immerse me in the waves. I am who I am because of the Great I AM. In this life God has graced me with my wonderful wife of 18 years and 5 amazing children, ranging from 5 years old to 15 years old. I am a stay-at-home dad who is working toward his Masters in Mental Health Counseling.