broken heart

What Can We Learn From a Broken Heart?

broken heart

My experience of love these past two years has been heartbreaking. But when I look back- it’s the areas that broke my heart that taught me the most.

Broken Expectations

Broken expectations leave a person left with what remains. And what remains is the truth, no matter how painful that truth may be.

Often in family and friendship- especially the kind of friendship that is viewed as family, we expect these friends and family to always have your back, always be there for you. After all, when we think of love, that is one aspect that seems most definitive of it.

The truth of love, however, is that the depth of it runs differently for each person. Their depths of love are based on their understanding and perception of love and those things are based on a person’s experience in life.


Unconditional Love is rare

All that to say, love, true, unconditional love, is rare. Love that doesn’t expect things in return and isn’t based on anything other than simply wanting the best for another person, because you simply and only care about that person’s wellbeing- that experience, is rare.

When experience breaks your heart enough- soon expectation is broken. And it’s there that humans are left to decide how they will allow love back in their hearts.

Allow Truth to Define your Heart

What I have learned is that your heart, is your responsibility. Giving someone the power to influence it is a big gift and it is one that shouldn’t be done lightly. You’re responsible for allowing what shapes and defines your heart. It is very important to have a healthy boundary for yourself and to allow truth first to define your heart. Truth takes awake selfish ambition, truth keeps you humble enough to know you’re not perfect and brave enough to know when to stand and speak up.

I’m not sure that this post is so much about love as it is about self-respect, but I believe one cannot love from a truthful place without first having self-respect.

Love and Self-Respect

Truth and an Open Heart Builds a Foundation for Love Click To Tweet

It is up to you to find Truth and to open your heart to it. When you do, you will find humility and strength. And then, you will receive the foundation to love, truly, yourself and others.

-Thoughts from Jessie ❤️✊️

What is Fibro

What is Fibromyalgia?

divider

Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence.

Fibro is not a terminal disease. You can live a full life and have fibromyalgia. Your life may not be the same as before. Pain management will be necessary to have a portion of your old self.

One can live a long and "normal" life because fibromyalgia can be managed. Click To Tweet

Reminder:  I just want to say that I am a patient, not a doctor. What I am sharing comes largely from what my doctors have taught me and what I have discovered in my own research.

I am sharing to hopefully help you be informed enough to support friends with this syndrome or possibly acquire informed questions for your doctor. Please talk with your doctor or visit the Mayo Clinic website for official information, diagnosis, and treatment.

Continue reading
fIBROMYALGIA REALLY FOR REAL

Why Fibromyalgia is a Real Pain?

qUESTION – iS fIBROMYALGIA rEALLY FOR rEAL?

Dear Friend OF A fIBRO wARRIOR;

Unimaginable to me, but there are people who can’t relate to dealing with pain. There are folks out there that have never had as much as a headache in their life. This is unimaginable to me.

I’m NOT one of them.

I have dealt with pain from a very early age. In the 5th grade, I started having chest pains, severe pains, like having a heart attack pains. But by the time I got to a doctor or the ER, the pain was gone or they couldn’t find the source of it. They said it was “growing pains“. Funny, I never got taller than 5’2”. Sure had a lot of pain to end up so short. Continue reading

baking cookies with fibro

Baking Cookies with Fibromyalgia .. or Not

Dear Sis,

Can you believe I only baked one batch of Christmas cookies this year? I Cut-out cookiesused to make double batches of 5 or 6 different kinds of cookies. Remember how we used to gather with our cousins and bake cookies all day after Thanksgiving? We must have made a thousand cookies back then. But it is nearly impossible for me anymore. First of all, it’s only me around here now. My husband, bless his heart, is trying to convince me that I should just quit baking cookies but it really breaks my heart to stop. 🙁  He’s probably right ’cause he usually is. Continue reading

I can not do

Simple Things I No Longer Do With Fibromyalgia

Dear friends;

If you been around since my diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I’m sure you realize that I am not the same as I used to be. I’m guessing you have noticed that I am no longer the go-getter I used to be and no longer deeply involved with the children at church, as a matter of fact, I’m not even at church every time the doors open. I walk with a cane and tire very easily. At home, I have to leave a lot of the daily chores to my husband. This is all much to my disappointment but it just cannot be helped.

Simple Things I No Longer Do

Today, though, I thought I might share about some of the simple things you may not realize that I can no longer do since my diagnosis. Here are some of those simple things that most of us take quite for granted.

Wear a hat or pretty barrettes in my hair.

Anything that might pull my hair or put pressure on my head causes a lot of pain for me now. Have you ever put your hair in a tight ponytail and then later when you took it down you scalp hurt? This is me all the time. Some days are not as bad as others, but for the most part, anything in my hair or on my head is a no-no.

Open a bottle of water or coke.

bottle cap simple things

Photo Credit: Hans at Pixabay

“Can you open this, please?

Those little ridges on the bottle cap are little needles poking into my hand when I try to open a bottle, especially the first time breaking the seal.

Walk across the floor in my bare feet.

Walking in my bare feet, at times is like walking on a bed of nails. Or worse, little a bed of needles. Can’t wear the socks with slip grids on them either. Each grid causes great pressure or pain on my feet. Lately even the fuzzy socks have been an issue. They feel like walking on a dirty kitchen floor in your bare feet. I had a pair of sandals once with ridges inside the soles. Oh, my, It was just impossible to walk in them.

Don’t mean to overwhelm you. Just trying to help you understand why I no longer do things I used to do. I hate it really cause my brain says, “Hey, let’s do this” but my body says, “NO!” My mind knows these are simple things to do, but no longer for me.

Thanks for listening and understanding,

Mandy Farmer

 

I’m a Member of Fibro Bloggers Directory

Pain for the holidays

Pain Comes for the Holidays

Ah, Friend, Happy Holidays!

So here we are again at the holiday season. I have always loved so much about the holiday season. I  love the cooler weather, the baking, the planning of parties and Christmas decorating and caroling. But most of that is no longer true for me. All these things seem to be an invite for Pain to enter my life and hold me hostage during the holidays. Continue reading

true value

What Has True Value in this Life

VALUE

noun. – the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

This post is inspired by the PROMPT: VALUE from Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday crew. The challenge is to write for five minutes. No editing. I encourage you to go to the link-up and read what others were inspired to write.

Value Re-defined.

Our world has re-defined what has value. Today, according to the world we have value because we have stuff, we have amazing talents, we know people. King Solomon said that life has no meaning or value.

But God values us as His children. Actually, He gives us our value.  We are His children.  And because of this, we have great value. We are nothing without him. We can do nothing without Him.

Continue reading

vote chronic pain

Voting With Chronic Pain

Dear friends;

Greetings from my recliner and a heating pad!

Did you get to vote in the elections this week? My husband and I managed to get out and vote yesterday in spite of knowing that the lines would be long. And indeed, they were. When we arrived we saw a line that extended outside and through the filled parking lot. We figured as much since there were cars lining the streets as we approached. We decided to park in the school parking lot across the street and walk over.

As we walked onto the campus where the voting was taking place we were reminded of two years ago when the lines extended as far for the presidential election. Wow! It’s surprising, no not really with the political atmosphere we have been in for two years, but midterm elections are usually not that big of a deal. Continue reading

fa from god

Feeling Far from God?

God’s Faithfulness

“I have heard all about You, Lord, and I am filled with awe by the amazing things you have done. In this time of our deep need, begin again to help us, as You did in years gone by. Show us Your power to save us.”-Habakkuk 3:2 NLT

Too many times, we feel far from God.

We know He is there. We know all He has done and will do. But sometimes there is a distance between us. If we really examine ourselves, our hearts, our intentions, our motives, we will often find that it was not God that moved away from us. Quite the contrary. Continue reading

how to help

How Can You Help Someone With Chronic Pain?

Dear Friend,

The other day, when you heard about my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, you said to let you know if there was any way you could help. I thought I might write to let you know how you can help. I know that you mean well, but this kind of offer kind of puts me in a quandary.

You see, I am not really sure how to answer that. There might be something that I know you would do and I would ask you but there are so many needs and I really feel like I am imposing to ask for your help. Unless you are a really, really good friend, I probably will never call on you for help even though I know your offer is sincere. Continue reading