How to Find Hope in the Hard Places

hard places book
image provided for Sarah Beckman

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I am not being paid to write this or being told what to say.

There’s nothing like reading a book that you wish you had earlier but then realizing the Lord directed you to survive in the very way the author has suggested. That’s what I found in Sarah Beckman’s book, Hope for the Hard Places. That is exactly what happened to me.

Our family has had our share of hard places: chronic pain, job loss, bankruptcy, grief, You name it. Sarah offers some definite steps in how to handle a crisis. And everyone, one time or another, will need this guide.

If you are in a hard place, this book is for you. It’s a beautiful guide to making it through the worst of times whether it is from grief or sickness or any other trial. If you need encouragement, go ahead and read the last chapter.
Then start from the beginning and read IT through. This book is filled with practical advice along with the spiritual. Trust me you will be glad you picked this one up.

Everyone will need this guidebook sooner or later. Buy it today, get bonuses. #hopeforthehardplaces #pastors #grief #cancer #chronicillness Click To Tweet

Sarah will tell you how to place the right people around you and what you need to have at your access. She will offer you great ways to get what you most desperately need in your own time of crisis. This book will help you deal with words that hurt and friends that disappear. Sarah will also help you look inward to change impossible expectations and how to give yourself grace when you fail to rise to your own expectations for yourself.

hard times without missteps

Most importantly, she talks about your own soul-care for this, to me, is the most important thing you can do in a crisis because as the scriptures say,  “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul” (Matthew 16:26) I’ll let you get the whole explanation by reading the book yourself but here are the steps in a nutshell.

5 Steps of Soul-care during a Crisis

  • Listen to God – Ask “Why me?” but also “What now?”
  • Be Honest with Trusted Friends – tell them what you need
  • Trust God without any Expectations – He sees you & knows what you need
  • Choose Joy – A positive outlook makes all the difference
  • Spend Regular time in God’s Word – Cindy Barnes recently wrote this about regular time with God here on the blog.

Get bonus products by ordering today ~ LAUNCH DAY, March 5th

Hope for the Hard Places

There is so, so much more in this wonderful guide for the hard places. Please go get your own copy to read and keep on your shelf. Trust me. You or someone near you will need it soon.

The Perfect Guide for When you are in Hard Places. #grief #cancer #chronic illness Click To Tweet

And Hold on to Jesus, He’s got this.

Mandy Farmer

P.S. Free Resource – How Can I Help

I wrote about how How you can Help Others when they are in crisis. There is a free resource there.


You may also like Sarah’s book, Alongside which guides you to come alongside a friend who is in crisis.


workingout

Working out My Hurts and Pain

When I’m working out-

I also work out my mind. I work out the hurt and the pain these last years have brought in my life.

I workout forgiveness toward myself- for unhealthy coping mechanisms that kept me stuck for so long.

I workout experiencing those low points and how now I have a deeper understanding of those who are going through dark times.

Working out Loss 

I workout that friends, even one I had half my life, can walk away and because of that, I learned the healthy boundary of relationships. And that I have the gift of forgiveness and to love but also not to expect that in return.

I work out that being on this path is rare– most don’t take the time to find themselves apart from identifying as something-

  • a wife, 
  • a mom,
  • a success,
  • college student etc.

Instead, I am working that out from the other end, finding myself, then success in what I want, and so on and so forth.

It’s empowering.

It’s empowering because I am not relying on anything to tell me where I “should be” or on anyone to make me feel valued.

I value me- because of all the humbling experiences that led me here and help me to show others their value too- and that to value yourself- it must come apart from anyone or anything.

-Thoughts from Jessie ❤️✊️

divider

Thank you, Jessie, for these words of encouragement. Back when I was swimming a mile a day, I found it to be very beneficial in working out my hurts, pains, emotions.

Friends, How to you work out your pain and emotions? Share in the comments.

fibromyalgia symptoms

SYMPTOMS TO LOOK FOR WHEN YOU SUSPECT FIBROMYALGIA

Q: What Other Fibromyalgia Symptoms do you have besides the Pain?

Fibromyalgia divider


Reminder :  I am a patient, not a doctor. What I am sharing comes largely from what my doctors taught me and some of what is discovered in my own research.
The purpose of this series is to inform. I pray you will be informed enough to support friends with this syndrome or possibly acquire informed questions for your doctor. Please talk with your doctor or visit the Mayo Clinic website for official information, diagnosis, and treatment.

There are so many fibromyalgia symptoms and they can come and go. Look for these and others, especially when they come in multiples.

According to Patient Education Booklet from Mayo Clinic ” Fibromyalgia: The Road to Wellness”, symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

  • Widespread pain
  • Fatigue
  • Sleep difficulties
  • Mood Disorders
  • Difficulty with memory, concentration, or thought organization (sometimes called “Fibro Fog“)
  • Headaches, facial pain
  • Chest wall pain
  • Heightened sensitivity to odors, noises, bright lights and touch.
  • Stiffness
  • Numbness or tingling in the arms and legs
  • Dizziness

One may or may not experience all these symptoms. And some may come and go, even the pain. This makes it difficult to diagnose, along with the fact that there is no blood test or x-ray that can be done to find the problem. When these tests are done, everything comes back normal which is why many doctors are baffled or believe that it is psychosomatic.

Conditions that may accompany fibromyalgia

Continue reading

broken heart

What Can We Learn From a Broken Heart?

broken heart

My experience of love these past two years has been heartbreaking. But when I look back- it’s the areas that broke my heart that taught me the most.

Broken Expectations

Broken expectations leave a person left with what remains. And what remains is the truth, no matter how painful that truth may be.

Often in family and friendship- especially the kind of friendship that is viewed as family, we expect these friends and family to always have your back, always be there for you. After all, when we think of love, that is one aspect that seems most definitive of it.

The truth of love, however, is that the depth of it runs differently for each person. Their depths of love are based on their understanding and perception of love and those things are based on a person’s experience in life.


Unconditional Love is rare

All that to say, love, true, unconditional love, is rare. Love that doesn’t expect things in return and isn’t based on anything other than simply wanting the best for another person, because you simply and only care about that person’s wellbeing- that experience, is rare.

When experience breaks your heart enough- soon expectation is broken. And it’s there that humans are left to decide how they will allow love back in their hearts.

Allow Truth to Define your Heart

What I have learned is that your heart, is your responsibility. Giving someone the power to influence it is a big gift and it is one that shouldn’t be done lightly. You’re responsible for allowing what shapes and defines your heart. It is very important to have a healthy boundary for yourself and to allow truth first to define your heart. Truth takes awake selfish ambition, truth keeps you humble enough to know you’re not perfect and brave enough to know when to stand and speak up.

I’m not sure that this post is so much about love as it is about self-respect, but I believe one cannot love from a truthful place without first having self-respect.

Love and Self-Respect

Truth and an Open Heart Builds a Foundation for Love Click To Tweet

It is up to you to find Truth and to open your heart to it. When you do, you will find humility and strength. And then, you will receive the foundation to love, truly, yourself and others.

-Thoughts from Jessie ❤️✊️

What is Fibro

What is Fibromyalgia?

divider

Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence.

Fibro is not a terminal disease. You can live a full life and have fibromyalgia. Your life may not be the same as before. Pain management will be necessary to have a portion of your old self.

One can live a long and "normal" life because fibromyalgia can be managed. Click To Tweet

Reminder:  I just want to say that I am a patient, not a doctor. What I am sharing comes largely from what my doctors have taught me and what I have discovered in my own research.

I am sharing to hopefully help you be informed enough to support friends with this syndrome or possibly acquire informed questions for your doctor. Please talk with your doctor or visit the Mayo Clinic website for official information, diagnosis, and treatment.

Continue reading
fIBROMYALGIA REALLY FOR REAL

Why Fibromyalgia is a Real Pain?

qUESTION – iS fIBROMYALGIA rEALLY FOR rEAL?

Dear Friend OF A fIBRO wARRIOR;

Unimaginable to me, but there are people who can’t relate to dealing with pain. There are folks out there that have never had as much as a headache in their life. This is unimaginable to me.

I’m NOT one of them.

I have dealt with pain from a very early age. In the 5th grade, I started having chest pains, severe pains, like having a heart attack pains. But by the time I got to a doctor or the ER, the pain was gone or they couldn’t find the source of it. They said it was “growing pains“. Funny, I never got taller than 5’2”. Sure had a lot of pain to end up so short. Continue reading

baking cookies with fibro

Baking Cookies with Fibromyalgia .. or Not

Dear Sis,

Can you believe I only baked one batch of Christmas cookies this year? I Cut-out cookiesused to make double batches of 5 or 6 different kinds of cookies. Remember how we used to gather with our cousins and bake cookies all day after Thanksgiving? We must have made a thousand cookies back then. But it is nearly impossible for me anymore. First of all, it’s only me around here now. My husband, bless his heart, is trying to convince me that I should just quit baking cookies but it really breaks my heart to stop. 🙁  He’s probably right ’cause he usually is. Continue reading

I can not do

Simple Things I No Longer Do With Fibromyalgia

Dear friends;

If you been around since my diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I’m sure you realize that I am not the same as I used to be. I’m guessing you have noticed that I am no longer the go-getter I used to be and no longer deeply involved with the children at church, as a matter of fact, I’m not even at church every time the doors open. I walk with a cane and tire very easily. At home, I have to leave a lot of the daily chores to my husband. This is all much to my disappointment but it just cannot be helped.

Simple Things I No Longer Do

Today, though, I thought I might share about some of the simple things you may not realize that I can no longer do since my diagnosis. Here are some of those simple things that most of us take quite for granted.

Wear a hat or pretty barrettes in my hair.

Anything that might pull my hair or put pressure on my head causes a lot of pain for me now. Have you ever put your hair in a tight ponytail and then later when you took it down you scalp hurt? This is me all the time. Some days are not as bad as others, but for the most part, anything in my hair or on my head is a no-no.

Open a bottle of water or coke.

bottle cap simple things

Photo Credit: Hans at Pixabay

“Can you open this, please?

Those little ridges on the bottle cap are little needles poking into my hand when I try to open a bottle, especially the first time breaking the seal.

Walk across the floor in my bare feet.

Walking in my bare feet, at times is like walking on a bed of nails. Or worse, little a bed of needles. Can’t wear the socks with slip grids on them either. Each grid causes great pressure or pain on my feet. Lately even the fuzzy socks have been an issue. They feel like walking on a dirty kitchen floor in your bare feet. I had a pair of sandals once with ridges inside the soles. Oh, my, It was just impossible to walk in them.

Don’t mean to overwhelm you. Just trying to help you understand why I no longer do things I used to do. I hate it really cause my brain says, “Hey, let’s do this” but my body says, “NO!” My mind knows these are simple things to do, but no longer for me.

Thanks for listening and understanding,

Mandy Farmer

 

I’m a Member of Fibro Bloggers Directory

Pain for the holidays

Pain Comes for the Holidays

Ah, Friend, Happy Holidays!

So here we are again at the holiday season. I have always loved so much about the holiday season. I  love the cooler weather, the baking, the planning of parties and Christmas decorating and caroling. But most of that is no longer true for me. All these things seem to be an invite for Pain to enter my life and hold me hostage during the holidays. Continue reading

true value

What Has True Value in this Life

VALUE

noun. – the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

This post is inspired by the PROMPT: VALUE from Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday crew. The challenge is to write for five minutes. No editing. I encourage you to go to the link-up and read what others were inspired to write.

Value Re-defined.

Our world has re-defined what has value. Today, according to the world we have value because we have stuff, we have amazing talents, we know people. King Solomon said that life has no meaning or value.

But God values us as His children. Actually, He gives us our value.  We are His children.  And because of this, we have great value. We are nothing without him. We can do nothing without Him.

Continue reading